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My-Pastor Minute, Issue #003 -- Minister To Your Pastor's Wife
January 23, 2007
1,500 pastors leave their churches every month in the United States because of conflict, burnout, or moral failure. Help keep your pastor from becoming part of that statistic. Use every available resource to encourage, support, and partner with your pastor. This ezine, My-Pastor Minute, combined with give you a good start toward effectively ministering to your minister.


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Date: January 23, 2007

Issue Number 003

Table of Contents:

  • Pastor Appreciation Idea: Make a Prayer Raid.
  • Gift Idea: Give What They Need.
  • Article: The Wind Beneath His Wings.
  • Whats New at Poems for Both Him and Her.


Make a Prayer Raid

There is no better way to encourage your pastor and his family than through prayer. We should all pray daily for our pastor and his or her family. However, sometimes it provides a little extra encouragement if your pastor and his spouse know you’re praying for them. So here’s an idea you can put into action every week.

Get a group of two or three friends together and make a surprise visit to your pastor at the office or your pastor’s wife at home. Tell them that he or she is on your heart today and that you just want to take ten or fifteen minutes to pray for them. Resist the temptation to chat or get comfortable. Go right to prayer as soon as possible.

Pray for specific things, such as,

  • Encouragement
  • Provision for today’s needs
  • Strength to resist temptation
  • Wisdom in the choices and decisions they have today
  • Marital harmony and purity
  • Pray for each child by name
  • That he or she would know they are loved by the congregation
  • Joy, peace, health, and safety

Give him or her a hug (if appropriate), tell them you love them and then leave. You could also leave a small gift (see below) or dessert. Stay no more than fifteen minutes. Done in this way, a surprise prayer raid would be a great encouragement each week.


A New Pastor Gift Idea: Sometimes Being Practical Is Best

Some of the best pastor or pastor’s wife gifts are the most practical…give them what they need. And if you don’t know what they need, you could give them a Wal-Mart Gold Star Gift Card. Everyone can find something they need at Wal-Mart.


Minister to Your Minister’s Main Minister

Years ago Bette Middler made popular the song, “Wind Beneath My Wings.” While I doubt that “Miss M” had pastor’s wives in mind as she sang, I do when I hear those words.

Anything good that came/comes out of my own pastoral ministry is in some way directly or indirectly related to my wife’s ministry to me, to the congregation, or in the community.

Pastors can endure church conflict, discouragement, and disappointment when the wind beneath their wings is strong and stable. But what happens when the primary minister’s minister gets discouraged and tired? Her husband falters and the church stumbles.

Ministering to your pastor’s wife is just as important as encouraging and supporting your pastor. Here are a few ideas on how best to minister to your minister’s minister.

  • Pray specifically for her each day.
  • Send her a note or card. Perhaps you could use one of the poems on the My-Pastor web site.
  • Allow her to be herself. Don’t put expectations on her.
  • Adopt one or all of her children. Be a surrogate grandparent or special aunt or uncle.
  • Be sensitive to the heavy toll church conflict has on a pastor’s wife. Conflict, especially criticism of her husband, hurts her more than it does him.
  • The smallest seemingly innocent comments can cut deep. “Is that a new dress?” may make her feel that people think she spends too lavishly. “How much sugar did you feed your son this morning?” may remind her that her kids need to be better behaved than everyone else’s children.
  • Give her a break. Everyone needs time to themselves…away from their daily grind. Pastor’s wives are no different. Watch the kids while she goes shopping or relaxes at a coffee shop.

While your pastor’s wife probably doesn’t receive a salary from the church, she is just as important to your church as your pastor. So if you want to keep your pastor energized and encouraged, minister to his wife. She is the wind beneath his wings.


What’s New at

I’ve added about a half dozen new poems to the following pages:


Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this zine and tell me what you think!

Thank you for your ministry to your minister.

Dan Sherman
Michigan, USA

If you have questions, ideas, or wish to be removed from my mailing list, please reply directly to this ezine email.


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